2020 is the year we hope everyone remembers and yet somehow we all desperately want to forget. It’s amazing how just one year can change so much. What I find myself saying more often than not is “Gee, I hope we learn something from this.” I’m going to be honest here, I feel like we are all walking on eggshells just waiting for the next big news to drop. We anticipate the worst. We expect the news will be hard to swallow just because it’s 2020. I don’t blame people for this new cynicism, but when 2021 hits, will that attitude stop? Will things have changed enough in the next 2.5 months for us to just start over and forget? I’m genuinely curious.
What I really want to highlight here is the fact that we’ve been forced to confront an unknown (insert Frozen 2 “Into the Unknown”). 2020 has brought to light SO much – sciences, prejudices, corruption, economic hardships and basic freakin’ hygiene.. So what are we going to do with this knowledge? How are we going to transform the lessons we’ve learned from our individual experiences and turn it into change for good? Many would say VOTE! VOTE one way or another to put the right people in the position to make policy changes that benefit our interests whatever those may be. This is very true and I encourage everyone to vote! However, I feel that we can take this year and reflect on what we can use personally to launch ourselves into (hopefully) a much better 2021. So why tackle this subject now instead of waiting until the end of the year? I don’t think it’s ever to early to reflect and learn from the hand you’ve been dealt. I also think the holiday season fogs up reality. So October is about the last month before we get all holly and jolly.
With the recent events in my life, I’ve definitely seen a shift in perspective on several things brought on by grief. Grief sucks, not even grief, but the anticipation of it when a loved one is sick and the end is near. It’s a universal feeling that we’ve all felt either in previous years, but most definitely this year. One concept in particular that keeps creeping up in conversation with family members and friends is the idea of “being remembered.” We all want to leave something behind, something our loved ones can hang on to. I don’t know about you, but from my conversations with my in-laws, my grandparents, and my mom, that “something” is not stuff, its memories. It’s moments. I have so many moments I want to remember of my Dad. Some are sweet and make me cry, some I can share with others, and some I write down. Everyone wants to be remembered, they want to think they did enough to be remembered.
Moments are how people remember and what a MOMENT we are in now. 2020 – it’s still here, it’s still pretty crappy. But what will it leave us with? What will we choose to hold on to, to remember, to grow from? Trust me, I hate this year just as much as everyone really, but it’s going to leave it’s own legacy. A legacy that is unique for each of us.
Here are just a few things I’m hanging on to from 2020 (so far):
- We are Gross. Like how hard is it to be decently hygienic? I hope social distancing while waiting in line becomes a normal and widely accepted protocol. I’m curious how places that have previously let shoppers test lotions or makeup will move forward, you know they weren’t wiping those samples down after every use…. just sayin’
- There’s Strength in Numbers. For me personally, we had a HUGE support system helping us through dad’s rehab, his passing, and most recently my mom’s move. Our friends held our family up in a time of grief and confusion. Whether loading up trucks and making trips to the storage unit, sending meals, or sitting with mom in the hospital (pre-COVID), it was like being physically hugged by everyone at one time. If you have that community, you know exactly what I’m talking about. How was that created? My parents. They valued friendships and community and putting others first. I pray that I can create half the community I’ve been lucky enough to have for my boys.
- Kindness Always Wins. I don’t really think there’s much to be said about this. If you’re faced with the decision of being kind or being right, always be kind.
- Change is Coming. Like winter (hello, GOT fans), we are all anticipating change but someone has got to make it happen. I’m proud to be part of a generation that wants things to be different, that isn’t okay with “well that’s the way we’ve always done things” as an answer. I’m proud that we use our social platforms to educate one another and discuss differences. I can’t wait to see what we can do.
- Embrace Identity. I’ve mentioned in previous posts, that I struggle with feeling this need to fit into a stereotypical type of person or “the checked box life.” Thanks to quarantine, grief, my boys growing up a bit, and more I’m slowly pulling back those expectations or labels. I’m starting to be okay with not fitting into any of those stereotypes. It’s freedom, It’s peace. Most importantly, it’s work and I’m most definitely not done uncovering who I am. One thing is for sure, I’m not afraid to find out who that is.
It’s fascinating to see just how much one can learn in such a short amount of time…
Sontree Creative 